Mr Fox

Again I’ve completed 10,000 steps (yay me), but sadly not my activity.  I think I’ve overdone this walking thing.  My hip hurts and I’m hobbling around like I have a stick up my Big Fat Arse.  It’s not a pretty sight for those behind me.  Anyways, I’ve just finished two night shifts and managed to not fill my face with comfort food. Albeit, it wasn’t for the want of attempting to.

I stopped off at the local Tesco Express to get some grapes, as you do.  When I was drawn to the sandwich fridge.  I could hear the sandwich catcher calling me, “come along my lovely”.  Before I knew it I had a chicken, bacon and mayo on brown (the only healthy bit) in my hand.  I got to the biscuit isle and was hit with guilt, do I and don’t I were sitting on my shoulders.  Don’t I won on this occasion, and I zapped it on the WW app….13 points!!! What the f***? I skulked back to the fridge where the shop assistant was re-stocking the devil food and slid it back onto the shelf.  She looked at me, I looked at her.  I’m on WW I told her, too many points.  ‘Ah that’s the trouble” she replied.  Whatever that meant.  I’m sure what she really wanted to shout to her colleagues was “we’ve got another one of those January nutters warming up all the sandwiches again”

I opted for some rice cakes instead and shuffled off to pay.

Working nights plays havoc with your body clock….whoa no, not my body clock, I mean sleep pattern.  We are way past that part of my life!!  No more babies for me thank you very much.  My contribution to the population ended 13 years ago, and I’m still trying to lose the baby fat.  
Here I was lying, waiting for Mr Sandman to do his “thang” and whisk me off to the land of skinny minnies, when I was promptly thrust into an episode of master mind!! The alleged friendly neighbourhood fox had set off the neighbours security light, again, which rudely lit up my bedroom like a belisha beacon..  Does no one sleep around here?!!!

So I’m not doing my weight loss journey alone you know.  There is me, and a few million others doing it too.  Nah really, I have a diet buddy.  My sister who I shall hereinafter refer to as “L”.

We speak most nights, or WhatsApp.  This evening we did both.  She’d had a bad day diet wise yesterday as today she started back at work after the festivities.  She confessed that she’d porked 4 chunks of whole nut and….drum roll please…..a cookie.  I mean come on, stick to the rules here “L”  We’re only on day 6.  (Mr Fox is back, at this rate I’m gonna have to choose a specialised subject).

I offered her words of encouragement and support as she does me.  Telling her it’s ok to have a blip, as long as you get back on it the next day.  We laughed about my “fat ears” as I inadvertently  kept muting the call throughout our lengthy conversation.  At the end we bid our I love yous and terms of endearment and ended the call.  Whereby I proceeded to pop a Cadburys Christmas tree chocolate in my mouth….what? It had my name on it!!!! Oopsy

Me and my Fat Arse

Hiya, I’m new to all this blogging malarkey, but decided I needed some inspiration to help me lose 3 stone – so here I am.

My fat arse got me in to trouble on Boxing Day 2018. My great Auntie kindly reminded me that “ooh you’ve put some weight on again” which is just what I wanted to hear on one of my not so good days!!

There I was being all good and healthy piling a load of salt onto a celery stick when she pipes up that load of shit. What is wrong with “old people”. Why is it they get to a certain age and they completely lose their filter and think they can say what they like?

Anyway, that was the kick up my Big Fat Arse that I needed. I bought myself a Fitbit, and joined WW online on the 2nd Jan. I’ve set myself a realistic goal of 8,000 steps a day, but doing more like 10,000 as I like the challenge – oh and seeing the little firework display on the fit bit screen when I hit the target. Sad yeah I know, but little pleasures and all that.

So, my weight loss journey has been going 5 days as I type this. But as I’m glutton for punishment I’ve decided to do dry January aswell, which seemed a good idea at the time. Now, maybe not so.

My tipple of choice is lager or guinness, so no wonder my Arse is the size of a hippo.

I’m not actually quite sure how much I’m meant to be typing for my first “Blog”. Is this too much, not enough, does anyone care?